When your children were younger, you had to be most concerned about taking care of them and guiding them down the right path as a person. In most cases, this means that you have to choose being their parent over being their friend. But once your child is a grown adult, to have a strong relationship with them, your interactions with them need to shift from parenting to something else. Otherwise, you might have a hard time maintaining a healthy and strong relationship with them as they mature.
To help you in making this transition, here are three tips for building a stronger relationship with your adult children.
Honor Their Boundaries
Everyone needs to have boundaries to feel like they’re respected in their relationships, and this is the same for your relationship with your adult children. So when they set a boundary with you, do your best to honor and respect this.
You can’t and shouldn’t expect to be privy to all of the aspects of your grown child’s life. There likely will be things that they don’t want to include you on or don’t want to hear your input about. And the more you’re able to accept this and continue growing your relationship in the ways that you’re open to, the stronger your relationship will be. But if you choose to defy their boundaries and disregard their requests for how they need you to show up for them now as adults, you may find that your relationship suffers.
Take On The Role They Give You
As part of the boundaries that many adult children either explicitly or subtly set with their parents, you might find that you have a different role in their life than what you did when they were younger. As a child, you were everything to your kids. But now that they’re grown and can take care of themselves, your role will change.
While you can try to take on a certain role in their life, if they push back against this with you, consider just going with the flow and taking on the role that they give you. By doing this, you’ll be able to reduce the amount of friction you both may feel in your interactions, which can do a lot to help strengthen your relationship with one another.
Learn To Withhold Your Judgment
While you might have your own opinions about how your child is living their life or what decisions they’re making, to keep from alienating your adult children, it’s best if you learn to withhold your judgment of them. When people feel like they’re being constantly judged by someone, they’re less likely to want to spend time with this person. And if you want to continue to have a strong relationship with your adult children even when you’ve moved into an assisted living facility, you’ll want to do your best not to be judgmental in your relationship with them.
If you want to build a strong relationship with your adult children, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you in doing this.
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